GARIBALDI DAYS AND THE THIRSTY LION...

Well, the Lions Club changed their mind about not having music at Garibaldi Days. I suppose that’s testimony to the power of the Internet, or the speed of 21st-century communication, or something like that; I just mentioned it Monday night in the blog and on Facebook, but by the time I got back from the Thirsty Lion performance Tuesday night, I had a message waiting for me from the Lions’ entertainment person, and we talked this morning, and music is back on. I’ve volunteered to help organize it (which I wanted to do from the beginning), and they’re willing to let me help (which I wanted them to do from the beginning).

I got word passed to Mike Simpson that they want his “Rockshop” kid bands performing, and they want “Deathgrass,” too. If each of those bands (including us) could do an hour set, that’d be four hours of music. I wonder how much more we could do?

We have an “entertainment meeting” set for Saturday, July 10, in the picnic shelter at Garibaldi’s Lumbermen’s Park, and I want all the musicians (at least someone from, or responsible for, each band) there, and we’ll thrash out schedules and such. A thought: if anyone within earshot (or eyeshot) is interested in performing, or in otherwise helping with this, get hold of me before the 10th, please, and let’s talk.

One firm rule—and I’ve agitated for this from the beginning—nobody is getting paid. Yes, I’ve heard all the stories about who got paid by whom to play Garibaldi Days in years past, and why; like the movie says, “That was then—this is now.” Garibaldi Days isn’t run by the Chamber of Commerce any more (there is no Chamber of Commerce any more)—it’s a fund-raiser for the Lions Club, the town’s oldest and biggest charity. I don’t care how famous you are, you’re playing for free. This is a benefit, and if you think about it, you wouldn’t want it any other way. We will promote and publicize the performers as much as we can, and I at least have a little experience in that regard.

Yes, the performance at the Thirsty Lion went well. Few gigs go exactly as expected, and this one was no exception, but I did do my part right. The setlist was a good mix, and delivery was good, and the audience, such as there was, were appreciative. There were problems with the sound system (they were blaming it on the band that had played there Saturday night without a sound engineer), and they eventually got it functioning at a minimal level, but nearly all the crowd had left in the meantime. By the time I got to perform, the audience consisted of a few stragglers at the bar, two other musicians (one of them performing), the host—and a FAN! I really did have someone come specifically to hear me!

On the financial side, the trip was a dead loss; no CD sales to offset the $25 cost of the trip, which is really too bad—I cannot afford to keep doing this. I did get one additional name for the “joelist,” was told by three or four people about a Thursday night open mike in Portland I should really try to go to (there’s that cost factor, though)—and I was told I was going to get invited back to the “final round” in their “contest.” (I don’t have any confirmation of that, however, as this is written—and that “final round” is less than a week away.)

The video of the Great Intergalactic Puppet Theatre’s June 19 performance of “Pig Wars: A Morality Play (with Socks” at the Bay City Arts Center has been posted online, so millions can see it; the link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elkvyEsvCvk. According to YouTube, 61 people watched it the first day (by comparison, only 71 people have watched the “Rufus” video in seven months). Susan Boyle on “Britain’s Got Talent!” it is not, but it is rather compellingly funny. And the soundtrack—Southern Pigfish’s “Darth Vader Blues”—is surprisingly listenable.

Joe

NO MUSIC AT GARIBALDI DAYS...

Well, the Lions Club have decided there will be no entertainment at Garibaldi Days this year. Not just no “Deathgrass,” but no anybody—no Talent Show, no middle-school rock bands. Nada. They say it’s because they couldn’t get it together (of course, they didn’t involve me—but I’m not sure how much help I would have been). I’m sure Garibaldi Days will come off fine without entertainment—it is their 50th anniversary, and they should get big crowds anyway thanks to the economy forcing folks to do their touristing closer to home. I’ll miss the notoriety, of course, but it feels wrong in principle, too, to have a festival without music, even if it isn’t me. It’ll feel like a silent movie.

Of course, there will still be music being played. It just won’t be there. The Friday Night Group will still presumably be playing at City Hall (though I don’t know if they’ll be mentioned in the Garibaldi Days program if I’m not designing the program), and there will presumably still be music Saturday afternoon at the Tillamook Library. And I’ll be at those places because the silence at Garibaldi Days will get on my nerves.

Well, if July’s a bust, August and September are tentatively shaping up to be better—and I should make sure it stays that way. August 7 (a Saturday) is that writers’ conference in Portland—a paying gig they still haven’t confirmed. August 27 (a Friday) I play with Dan Doshier at the Southern Oregon Songwriters concert in Central Point. The Garibaldi Food Pantry is ready for another “Deathgrass” concert; the ideal date would be Saturday, August 21—the Dance Floor at City Hall should be available. The Bay City centennial celebration is Labor Day weekend, and “Deathgrass” is supposed to be playing (for free) Sunday, Sept. 5. And the “Joe Concert” at the Bay City Arts Center (paying gig) is Sat., Sept. 25. If the Rocktoberfest happens (and I believe it’ll only happen if it’s a paying gig), it’ll be the weekend of Sept. 18-19.

I might have nine songs now for the “12 Reasons Why Joe is Going to Hell” album. Not in any kind of order, they are:

Can I Have Your Car When the Rapture Comes?—slow & sleazy
Bungee Jumpin’ Jesus—mod. speed Gospel
The Abomination Two-Step—fast bluegrass
Dirty Deeds We Done to Sheep—Johnny Cash-style rock ‘n’ roll
Electronic Love—slow & sleazy
In the Shadows, I’ll Be Watching You—slow & sleazy two-step
The Dead Sweethearts Polka—fast bluegrass
Song for Charity (and Faith, and Hope)—fast bluegrass
Angel in Chains—country death metal

Four are religious (of course—one can’t go to Hell without religion), and the rest are just subjects that make people go “eww.” The band could probably do a good job on all of them (I could see Mike having a lot of fun with “Deeds,” and Doc with “Electronic Love,” and John and Chris both enjoying “Angel in Chains,” since they don’t get to play much heavy metal). I did spring “Shadows” on the Friday Night Group, telling them I needed to practice it before performing it at the Thirsty Lion Tuesday night, and people did like it—we even had couples up dancing, which was a big surprise.

The Darth Vader theme has only two chords, near as I can tell—but when it morphs into the “Darth Vader Blues,” it’s going to need three, I think. The musical score for the “Pig Wars” video needs to be a little over three minutes, and I can put an applause track at the very end of the score, so it’ll happen right when Southern Pigfish’s credit appears on the screen. (Since the band doesn’t exist, the only way they can get applauded is by people who don’t exist, either.)

Job interview is July 22. What can I accomplish between now and then?

Joe

SATURDAY NIGHT, AND THE MOON IS OUT...

Like the song says (not one of mine), “it’s Saturday night and the moon is out.” And I have no intention of going anywhere. I marched two miles in the Dairy Parade, as part of the TAPA contingent, wearing my “Beauty Queen of Leenane” sash, and got my picture taken; that’s enough accomplishment for one day.

I will not be starring in “The Beauty Queen of Leenane”—they decided on the younger guy—and I am not bothered; it means I don’t have to change the date of the Sept. 25 “Joe Concert.” The play I’d really like a part in will come up this fall—“My Three Angels,” a French comedy that became a famous American film starring Humphrey Bogart (among others). I was suggested for the role of the evil uncle, but I’d rather be one of the criminals, I think; they’re much more interesting characters, even though they have a lot more lines. Either way, I will have to master speaking understandable English with a French accent.

This month, the Coventry songwriters over in England want songs intended to be sung by someone else. I had been working on one already, an “I fall in love too easy” song with Polly Hager in mind, and maybe this will be a spur to finishing it. If she’s not interested in it (and she may not be, after she sees the lyrics), it can get added to the list of songs I can always perform in a gay bar.

I have three—maybe four—photos thus far for the Board/Staff Art Show at the Bay City Arts Center July 10: two from the garden at home, and one from the Dairy Parade. (The fourth is a very conventional, albeit pretty, landscape shot from a friend’s rear window.) I have a frame for one, will need to get thrift-store frames for the others. I’ll let the frame dimensions dictate the size of the photos—might as well be unconventional about it. In addition, I have a photo of the masterpiece the cats did a while back—a dead bird tastefully arranged on the “Welcome” mat—and I’ve snapped mug shots of the two artists, too. (Those can go in separate, smaller frames.)

All the photos will have to have prices on them—something the Arts Center insists on, because we try to market artists as well as showcase them. I suppose the price for the “cat art” will have to be denominated in cat food. I’m sure the feline artists (Chloe and Emily) would not appreciate cash money

Photography, I think, follows the same rules as songwriting. (Maybe all of life does.) I keep my eyes open (keeping the ears open is probably not applicable in this case), and I always have my camera with me (I keep extra CDs in the camera case, after all), and as I see weird things, I snap their picture. Half the fun is figuring out the titles for the things.

Job interview (for a city manager job, no less) in two, maybe three weeks will be the first one in months. This one’s in the Willamette Valley, about a 2-hour drive from Garibaldi. I will eschew, this time, checking out the live music scene and fantasizing what it’d be like to be part of it until I find out whether I actually will be offered the job; I have built up my hopes and had them dashed too many times. Nothing but rejection letters or dead silence (which usually means rejection later) from everybody else I’ve applied to for jobs.

Thirsty Lion gig is Tuesday night; Monday through Friday, I’ll be helping teach “beach art” to kids at the Arts Center. I have a brochure to finish for the 2nd Street Market, and the Southern Oregon Songwriters July newsletter to do (and once again, I don’t have their material by deadline time). And I have the Darth Vader theme to record—on the banjo—for the “Pig Wars” video. No details yet on the band’s Garibaldi Days gig, and I need those right away, too, to go into the SOSA Newsletter. And we need to practice.

Joe

UPDATES...

Second time, now, that “the Pigfish song” has been requested in our acoustic jam session at the tavern. This time, “the band” was just Doc on blues harp, Terry on fiddle, and me as the only guitar, but the song still came out okay—and I noticed people listened. I have a feeling the song’s going to get requested more—and people may end up knowing the name Southern Pigfish without having any idea the band doesn’t exist. I’d like that.

I may not get picked for the play I auditioned for—I’m told the folks in charge really want somebody younger, Irish accent notwithstanding, because the character is a guy who’s in his 40s, not his 60s. It does sound like the same problem I’ve had in applying for jobs, but I shan’t complain: if I did (or do) get picked for the play, one of the performances is September 25—the day we’d arbitrarily set for the Joe Concert at the Arts Center (simply because it was my birthday). Obviously, I can’t do both, but it’s easy to re-schedule the concert, because there’s been no advertising yet. On the other hand, if I’m not in the play, the issue is moot.

The Tillamook Farmer’s Market appears to have music booked every weekend through Labor Day, so that’s out for a paying venue; the 2nd Street Public Market doesn’t—they don’t have anything at all booked through the summer—but I’m not sure they have the money to pay for entertainment, either. (They may not even hire a replacement for their director once she leaves.) That’s too bad; a miniature mall like theirs needs traffic to survive, and one of the easiest ways to bring traffic in is entertainment. Conventional wisdom, when I was in real estate, was a new business—and that’s what the 2nd Street Market is—should be expected to eat money for the first three years, before it turns a profit. These guys may not have given themselves enough of a cushion.

The iMovie video of “Pig Wars” is mostly done (though it’s a HUGE file); next step is a soundtrack, for the time where the opening credits are running. I found the music for Darth Vader’s theme music from Star Wars, and think I can do it on the banjo (which would have a certain shock value); it has a tendency when I play it to morph into a standard 12-bar blues, which would be ideal for this video. “Pig Wars” is a constant journey into the unexpected.

I might have time for seven songs at the Thirsty Lion, instead of six; most of my selections this time are pretty short, and I’m performing them solo (and therefore without lead breaks). Maybe the setlist should be:

Eatin’ Cornflakes from a Hubcap Blues—slow & sleazy two-step
The Termite Song—fast bluegrass
Can I Have Your Car When the Rapture Comes?—slow & sleazy
The Dead Sweethearts Polka—fast bluegrass
Take-Out Food (by Stan Good)—slow & sleazy
Song for Charity (and Faith, and Hope)—fast bluegrass
In the Shadows, I’ll Be Watching You—slow & sleazy

Music Friday night at City Hall, then nothing till the Thirsty Lion gig Tuesday night in Portland. (I do get to march in the Dairy Parade, though, with my “Beauty Queen of Leenane” sash. They may draw the line at having me wear a tiara.) Rumor has it Jason Jones—whom I have yet to meet, despite corresponding for over a year—is hosting a Sunday jam session at O’Downey’s Pub in Depoe Bay, a littler over an hour from here; if it’s on, I’d really like to go—I haven’t played out of town in a long time. And with the gig coming up, I need to keep playing.

Joe

"PIG WARS" POST-MORTEM...

The Great Intergalactic Puppet Show (G.I.P.S.) production of “Pig Wars” is now history. It was a brief performance—6-1/2 minutes, according to the videotape. Small but appreciative crowds—but larger, I heard, than for the rest of the events in Bay City’s “Party for the Park,” because we marketed and they didn’t.

Post-mortem (one should always do post-mortems on performances, even if it’s a puppet show): The stage needs to be higher; you could see the puppeteers’ heads from the audience seats on the risers. The stage also needs its “wings” opened up more (and therefore braces to keep it from falling over) so the crew have more room to move in. The curtain should be closer to the front of the stage (hiding the crew better). And more than one “dress rehearsal” would have been good—though the amateurishness of the show was part of its charm, I think. On the “we did right” front, the sound was about perfect, with two mikes on boom stands behind the puppet stage, and the script was good—the audience laughed at all the right lines (as well as at some of the inadvertent slapstick antics of the “sock stars”). I think a sequel would go over okay.

The Arts Center’s big camera interfaces with a Macintosh computer, not a PC (our PC doesn’t have a Firewire port); the Arts Center does have a Mac (an old one), with Apple’s super-stripped-down video program, iMovie, and I spent most of my Monday shift at the Arts Center working with it. iMovie is a lot more limited than Microsoft’s Windows Movie Maker (I hadn’t thought that was possible); if there were a way to archive the footage and transfer it to a PC, I would.

If I can learn to use iMovie, I’ve got another opportunity I can take advantage of. The Arts Center has videotapes of open mikes going back years—and I’ve performed at a lot of those. I could archive to the computer all of my open mike performances, nearly all of which are solo, and have that “here’s what Joe playing to a crowd is like” film I’ve wanted for a long time. (I think performance videos could be added to the Arts Center’s Website, too. I’ll have to try that.)

I auditioned for another play—a minor role, they said, but it’s a play with only four actors. Takes place in Ireland, so they wanted an Irish accent, which I am able to do, sort of; it’s not really Irish (you can understand the words), but most folks would probably call it Irish—it’s just a more intense version of how I have to sing some of the faster bluegrass songs. They wanted me to deliver a monologue, as well as read a scene from the play—so I gave them the Robert Service poem, “The Cremation of Sam McGee,” which is easy to do with an Irish accent.

Roland and I got to practice a couple of hours Sunday. He’s got a decent-sized Fender acoustic amp that can handle both his guitar and mine, plus a vocal mike; it’ll do for what we need. He knows a lot of Gordon Lightfoot and other early folksingers, and I don’t—I’ll need to learn them. We concentrated on his stuff this time around, at my insistence; next time—this week, I hope—we’ll include some of mine. I think we will need to use my Tascam to record us. I didn’t see that Roland has anything better.

It has shaped up to be a very busy couple of weeks. This week, I have two days at the Arts Center, three at the 2nd Street Public Market (where I’m angling for the job of the director, who’s leaving), two meetings to cover for the paper (both will turn into news stories), music Wednesday and Friday, and the Dairy Parade to march in for TAPA on Saturday. (They’re going to have me wear a sash saying “Beauty Queen of Leenane”—their new play. How could I resist an opportunity like that?) Next week, I teach “beach art” classes all week, plus have a meeting Monday night and the Thirsty Lion gig Tuesday night. I keep hoping if I get busy enough, someone will offer me a job. I think it’s supposed to work that way. Isn’t it?

Joe

DFOING A DUO (MAYBE)...

Roland is interested in doing a duo. He is, I think, more confident than I about our ability to make money doing this, but I agree that the two of us sound way better together than we do separately. We’ll (tentatively) get together at his place Saturday night and discuss what to play, and maybe record a couple of things. It sounds like he’s got more sophisticated recording equipment than I do (plus he doesn’t labor under the difficulty of being mostly tone-deaf).

I want as quickly as possible to have an EP of us doing four songs (two by him, and two by me, I think) that I can peddle around to potential venues; I know I can do this on the Tascam, and produce a record-quality result—but maybe Roland can do it better. Beyond that, I want to create a “These guys are great!” brochure, with photos (which again, I can take). I don’t know what the local market looks like, but I can sure find out. We should have a setlist of about two hours of stuff we can do flawlessly (I think that will just take a little practice).

The 2nd Street Public Market in Tillamook says they do have some openings for entertainment; I do not know what (if anything) they pay. I have let myself get talked into doing a shift (unpaid) running the front desk at the Market (I’ll try to limit that to one shift a week), and that should both keep me in touch with what they’re doing, and ensure they don’t forget me.

Roland also might work as a fill-in lead guitarist with the band. We’re going to need one, I think—Mike Simpson isn’t guaranteeing he’ll be able to do more than Garibaldi Days and the Bay City Centennial gigs over the summer (and having got a peek at Mike’s summer schedule in the studio, I can see why)—but I have two more gigs I’d like the band to do: the benefit for the Food Pantry, and the “Joe Concert” at the Arts Center September 25. And the latter gig is paid. (We likes paid. We wants paid.) There’s also still the potential for the September Rocktoberfest, provided Mike and Tim Croman can convince the Chamber of Commerce to pay the musicians. (I’m not sure whether they’ll be able to do that—but I think the concert probably isn’t going to happen any other way.)

At our Wednesday all-acoustic jam at the Garibaldi Pub, blues harpist Dennis “Doc” Wagner requested I do “that Southern Pigfish song” (“For Their Own Ends”), which the rest of the group had never heard before—and Roland did a fine lead, especially considering he’d had it thrust at him out of the blue. It is different from just about everything else I play.—and I figure if he can handle that okay, everything else should be comparatively easy. (The rest of the group said they liked the song, too.)

Beyond that, I feel like I’m waiting again for a growing list of things (and I know I have no reason to be anxious—I just want feedback, to bolster my sense of self-worth). Jobwise, I feel I’ve applied to run the world (and I still have more jobs to apply for)—I’ve applied to be interim city manager in two towns, a city recorder, a city clerk, an assistant city manager, a deputy assistant city manager (yes, there’s a city that actually has one of those), risk management person for an insurance co-op, a bank manager, an accountant for the county (didn’t Glen Campbell write a song about that?), graphic design guy for the newspaper I write for, a city planner, “development director” (fund-raiser) for a non-profit doing grassroots political training, public records officer for a university, and a state job whose exact nature escapes me at the moment. And probably a few others. (There are a bunch of other state jobs to apply for, too—though I wonder why the state is hiring so many people when they’re simultaneously talking about laying off so many people because of budget cuts.)

On the music front, I think the only people I’m waiting on are the Willamette Writers group; I’ve answered other ads on Craigslist, but I’ve learned from experience not to expect a response. And there’s Saturday’s Great Intergalactic Puppet Show to get ready for—it’s maybe a 10-minute performance (just a 3-page script), but the advertising has attracted a whole lot of attention over a very short period of time, and now it’s time to deliver.

Joe

THE THIRSTY LION PUB (AGAIN)...

Ah, things begin to move… I got myself invited back to the THIRSTY LION PUB in downtown Portland, TUESDAY, 29 JUNE. I’ll be part of their “Portland Songwriter Showcase,” which will have three other performers besides me and host Kory Quinn (who’s pinch-hitting for regular host Eric John Kaiser). The host usually kicks it off at 8:30 p.m., with the other performers starting at 9 p.m. I don’t know if I’ll be on first—I have been the last two times, because Eric knows I’ve come from furthest away—but the other performers are usually quite good, too. This will be a solo performance, and unpaid (as usual—but I’ll have the last few of my CDs with me, and maybe can recover enough money to pay for the gas).

They’re still doing their “vote for your favorite performer” thing (so performers will induce their friends, families and fans to come, buy the $2 drinks and eat the cheap food)—the top vote-getters from each week from May and June will be “finalists” playing Tuesday, July 6 to win either a day in a Portland recording studio or a music video. I could use both, but I never did have more than a handful of fans in Portland, and I don’t think any ever have come to the Thirsty Lion either time I’ve played there, so I’ve never been one of their “finalists.” I’m not expecting miracles this time around, either. The Thirsty Lion is simply a nice place to play, with a generally attentive (and sometimes large) audience.

The performances are all videotaped, but the folks doing it never have aired a video of me—and I’m not expecting them to this time, either. (The only extant videos of me performing are still just the two shows Darrin Wayne and I did for Southern Oregon Songwriters on Ashland public television last year.)

What to play? 25 minutes is six songs—and it’s a tavern, so the audience are all adults. I like to have a theme connecting all the songs together, and what I’ve normally delivered the audience at the Thirsty Lion, since they’re not familiar with me, is the list I gave the Songstuff writers’ group when I signed up: “death, lost love, betrayal, religion, and dead animals.” How about:

Can I Have Your Car When the Rapture Comes?—slow & sleazy
The Termite Song—fast bluegrass
Eatin’ Cornflakes from a Hubcap Blues—slow & sleazy quasi-blues
The Dead Sweethearts Polka—faster’n bluegrass
Take-Out Food (by Stan Good)—slow & sleazy
Song for Charity (and Faith, and Hope)—fast bluegrass

Of those, two are new, two are off the last album (a possible incentive for people to purchase it), and three of ‘em are candidates for the “12 Reasons Why Joe Is Going to Hell” album. The set starts off with a slow, sleazy tune—the best way to get a tavern audience’s attention. And only one of the songs, I think, has ever been performed at the Thirsty Lion before.

I did hear back from the Willamette Writers group, regarding their paying gig solicitation on Craigslist; the actual decision will be made by a committee (and you know how committees are)—but the girl who reviewed my stuff liked it, and will encourage the committee to hire me, I think. That one’s FRIDAY, 6 AUGUST, at the Portland Airport Sheraton, somewhere between 5 and 7 p.m. (They have 2 hours, and I am hoping there will be someone else on the bill besides me. I think I’m a bit hard to take as a soloist after more than an hour.)

No music at the Tillamook Library until July 10—they’ve got other things using the conference room where we usually play. There will still be music at City Hall on Friday nights, and at the Garibaldi Pub Wednesday afternoons—and there’s a Garibaldi Days concert to get ready for, too, at the end of July. This Saturday is the sock-puppet performance at the Arts Center—“Pig Wars,” the legend of the three little pigs performed by the cast of Star Wars.

Joe

FOOTBALL, AND WRITERS, AND SOCKS (OH MY?)...

Had people from Gearhart (40 miles away) come to hear the Friday Night Group; they said they’d read about it in the paper. The only mention “in the paper” I know of has been by me, in my column. Maybe that means people—from out of town?—are reading it. I continue to have each week’s column plotted out in advance, and hope I can continue to do so; if I can write the column in the time it takes to type it, it’s almost a productive use of my time (and the only part of my newspaper work that is).

I won’t be doing the Lions Club’s Garibaldi Days program this year; they’ve enlisted the husband of one of the Port Commissioners to do it instead (it’s the Port’s 100th anniversary this year, as well as the 50th anniversary of Garibaldi Days). The fellow has some graphic design experience, and way more modern tools than I do, and I don’t mind not spending the time on it—last year’s program was a lot of work, within very tight deadlines, and all unpaid, of course. On the other hand, I really like doing it, and will miss it for that reason. And I’ll worry whether the New Guy will know how to save money as good as I did.

“The Footballer’s Prayer” has been recorded, and e-mailed to England. I’ve been told the World Cup competition is going on now, and wonder if that’s why the Brits were so anxious to get the song. It wouldn’t make a bad theme song (aside from sounding hopelessly American, of course). Moving this fast is probably something only a small-timer can do. The song was written in one day, peer-reviewed the second day, recorded and e-mailed the third. I think it’d have been possible to produce physical CDs on the spot over in England if we’d needed or wanted to—I’m sure somebody over there has the same equipment I have here. I could even have designed and sent a label. The Big Boys can’t move that fast. Link, by the way, is http://www.soundclick.com/share?songid=9261962.

Music both at City Hall Friday night, and the Tillamook Library Saturday, were good (got complimented on my lead playing, which was a nice surprise, and sold a CD—I think that means I have just six or seven left out of the last “pressing”). Got to play the Electric Banjo a little, too—not plugged in (there’s really no point in making it sound louder if you can’t make it sound better).

I keep responding to ads on craigslist (even though I have about as much success with those as with job applications). Latest was from the Willamette Writers group, seeking musical entertainment for their annual conference in Portland in August. I can at least offer myself as a writer (and did). I passed on the ad to two other songwriters I am aware of in the Portland area, with the suggestion that we could maybe do a show together, but both begged off (and I’m pretty sure neither one begged off because it was me).

It would be a paying gig—which would be nice—as well as an opportunity to connect with other writers. True, what I’ve written mostly is songs (at least, what I’ve written that’s any good), but I do write other things, too. The Willamette Writers group does have a chapter on the Coast, but it’s in Newport, a good 2-hour drive away; Portland, timewise, is closer. I doubt I could be active in the group—but it’d be nice to stay in touch.

And on the “I write other things” front, I have written a one-act play—to be performed by sock puppets. (It is a very short one act.) “Pig Wars,” it’s called—the legend of the three little pigs, performed by the cast of Star Wars (yes, Darth Vader as the big bad wolf—and the pigs are named Luke, Leah, and Hansolo). Karen, the program director for the Arts Center, is designing the sock puppets, and they are cute. Need one more puppeteer besides Karen and myself, since the play has a cast of five—and the performance is less than a week away. In addition to writing the play, I will get to design classic Hollywood-style “opening night” posters—featuring the sock “stars.” The suggestion’s been made that we videotape the performance, and post it on YouTube. That should be possible.

Joe

ONE OF THOSE MODEST PROPOSALS...

One of the writers’ groups I subscribe to got a solicitation recently from someone looking for investors for his album. Difficult to tell whether it was spam or not—the fellow has yet to respond to any messages, and he did get a lot of caustic comments about “selling sand to the Sahara” (since a lot of those writers are working on albums of their own). Still, it’s an idea worth exploring—not for his album, of course, but for mine.

Investing per se, where people contribute money toward the project in exchange for a return on their investment later, is definitely doable; in fact, the returns on a project like mine are pretty good, because I am pretty ruthless about keeping costs low. Recording, mixing and mastering the “Santa’s Fallen” CD were under $500, and the CDs themselves—in “short runs,” always—come to $2 each, with labels and cases (if I ordered 1,000, I could get them for $1 each). The CDs sell for $10 apiece—and y’know, that’s not a bad investment. Of course, we wouldn’t be talking a big return, because it wouldn’t be a big investment to begin with—but the percentages are good. Potentially.

The paperwork would be a little complicated, but nothing a computer couldn’t handle. I would rope the band in, too, and count them as equal-share investors, contributing their time rather than money. It’d be necessary to carefully spec out costs (including an allowance for marketing), and tell the investors all costs would be paid first, and then at a specific point, we would begin parceling out the profits. Organizationally, it’d be a little corporation (with the additional costs involved in setting up a corporation).

Another way to go—and I see some bigger bands doing this already—is to pre-sell the album. One can either pre-sell it at a discount, or toss in free merchandise (posters, T-shirts, &c.) to those who pre-buy. The pre-buyers also get the album before it hits the stores (which would matter not at all in my case). This is also doable. Let’s say that costs to produce 1,000 copies of the album were $2,000 (I bet I could do it for well under $2,000). If 200 people fronted $10 apiece, in expectation of getting an album delivered as soon as it came out, that’d cover production costs—and I’d still have 800 more CDs that could be sold at mostly pure profit.

In both cases, I find myself saying, “Yes, but I don’t want to do this just yet.” Why not? I think it’s because of a lack of confidence in myself. I am not sure I could pull it off. The same thing that makes me question why anyone would want to buy an album of mine (and I certainly don’t have a great track record at that) makes me question why anyone in their right mind would want to invest in one. Those strains of thinking need to be summarily dismissed. If I didn’t have confidence in what I do, I’d never be standing on stage doing it.

Yes, the way it used to work, a record company would do this stuff; they’d arrange for the recording, do the production and marketing, even book the promotional tours—and, be it noted, would reap rather large profits even with their grossly inflated expenses. The landscape (as I keep pointing out) has changed. The writer must do all these things himself. It’s still a very good deal for the investor—better, in fact, than the Big Boys can offer, because the little guy knows how to save money and the Big Boys never had to learn.

As Shakespeare would say, “I’ll think on’t”—and see if I can convince myself it’s a good idea.

Good crowd—both audience and musicians—at the Garibaldi Pub’s Wednesday afternoon acoustic jam. And I did get to talk to Roland, and he is interested in performing as a duo. Music Friday and Saturday this week, too.

Joe

"MONET-IZATION" (&C.)...

Sent off a column to Lorelei Loveridge for Performing Songwriters United Worldwide. “Monetization” was supposed to be the subject—and I couldn’t resist bringing up Claude Monet. (Yes, the impressionist painter.) He ended up being surprisingly apt: his paintings are thousands of little dots that seen from a distance, turn into landscapes. The “Monet-ization” lesson: Look at things differently.

A comparison is possible between the dinosaurs that control the music industry and us small-scale independents, who are like prehistoric voles scuttling about beneath the dinosaurs’ feet (and trying not to get crushed). Closer to the ground, we can see the dots; we can maybe even change the dots. The dinosaurs dominate the landscape, but all they can see is the Big Picture; they can’t change it, because they can’t see the dots. And therein, I think, is the opportunity for the little folks.

The tavern in Hebo is open again (new owners—it had been closed for something like ten years), and I have that locally famous song, the “Welcome to Hebo Waltz,” about the town that’s got no population, only a welcome sign; I can stop by and give ‘em a CD, make sure they know I’m a musician looking for work, and suggest they have live music in their tavern—perhaps a Welcome to Hebo Concert.

I attended the opening of the 2nd Street Public Market in Tillamook. Their stage is quite nice—it’d do for a band as well as solo acts—but I think solo, duo, or small-scale acts is probably what they need during the day, anyway, to not interfere with the shoppers. (The ideal time to have bands would be at night on the weekends.) So I need that solo EP. Copy for the Market, and another for Artspace, the Bay City café I drive past several times a week (I met the owner at the Market, though I didn’t tell her I was a musician). I can put the “Welcome to Hebo Waltz” on that, too, and make it do double duty.

I met a cello player, too; he’s Scottish, lives in Nehalem or one of those other places up north, and showed up with the Scottish potter whose work is on display (and for sale) this month at the Arts Center. He’s the only cello player I’ve met who hasn’t been scared off by being told I’ve written a bluegrass song (“Welcome to Hebo Waltz,” in fact) that has a cello part. He doesn’t drive—but I do, and the Tascam is portable. He has one of the most expressive faces I’ve ever run across, too—when he plays, he acts like he’s doing battle with the cello (he usually wins). It would be fun to film him, and use that as the video track for the song.

There was music all weekend, and it was all good. Friday at City Hall, I stuck primarily to traditional stuff, because Elsie (on accordion) was our only lead player; I made up for it Saturday, playing only my stuff at the Library. Four songs at the Arts Center’s open mike (they liked “The Dead Sweethearts Polka” best, I think)—plus two of the musicians I’d encouraged to come to the open mike did so. Sunday at the Forestry Center, I got to be the lead player. I probably do all right as long as there’s no one to compare me to.

I think next month I’ll be the one hosting the Arts Center’s open mike (July 10), so I’ll solicit a bunch of people I know; with almost a month to do promotion in, it may be possible to generate some traffic. This week, I have meetings Monday and Wednesday, a play to go to Tuesday, and music Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. How did I get so busy being unemployed? I also have more job applications pending than I can count, and have not been called for a single interview. Has the economy really not improved? Or is it me?

Joe

UPCOMING...

The Rockaway Beach Rocktoberfest will be in September (Sept. 18 & 19) this year; thankfully, they are still calling it Rocktoberfest—I am not sure there are any things they could call it with “September” in it that would be pronounceable. Mike Simpson and The Exiles’ Tim Croman are doing the booking. They are insistent on keeping the promise made last year that if the Rocktoberfest happened again, the musicians would get paid; they’re asking $75 per musician (which is reasonable—it’s just a little below market), and I hope they’re able to get it. I think if they don’t, the event isn’t going to happen.

I’ve arbitrarily scheduled a date for the “Joe concert” that was in the Bay City Arts Center’s budget. We were spec’ing out dates for all the events through the end of the year, and the concert was supposed to be a significant revenue source for the Arts Center for 2010. I picked Sept. 25, which is (1) a Saturday, (2) not reserved for anything else at the Arts Center, (3) isn’t an already-scheduled concert date for the band, (4) isn’t so deep into fall that the weather’s gotten rotten and the summer crowds have melted away, and (5) happens to be my birthday. Being able to play music on my birthday—and get paid for it—would be one of the best presents I could imagine. John (bass) says he’s in—I don’t know about the others yet.

Confirmation from the Southern Oregon Songwriters that I’ll be performing Friday, 27 August in their Summer Concert Series. That one’s a freebie 40-minute set; I think I can have Dan Doshier’s bluegrass band, plus Sheral Graham said she’d play her Green Thing (it’s actually called a melodion).

Saturday, before I go play music at the Tillamook Library (and then at the Arts Center’s open mike), I’ll go by the new 2nd Street Public Market and see what their stage looks like. It’s the opening day of the Market, and they have three musical acts scheduled—at least one of which is a soloist. I may want to promote myself as a solo act for this venue; if so, I should create (quickly, in the garage studio) an EP that’s just got me playing solo—no multiple guitars or effects. Just a handful of songs, I think: “Crosses by the Roadside” (a two-step), “Duct Tape” (mod. country), “Rotten Candy” (fast bluegrass), “Bungee Jumpin’ Jesus” (Gospel), and “Welcome to Hebo Waltz” (fast waltz) might be enough. I don’t have anything except the first album that has me playing solo, and I think I’ve become a better guitarist since then.

And I applied for a REALLY fun job—being a part-time design person for the Tillamook paper, the people I already write a weekly column and occasional news articles for. The same thing I did full-time 25 years ago in the Gorge, before daughter Kimberly was born. I took them copies of a few of my best graphic-design projects, along with the “functional” (here’s what Joe can do) resume—I finally did break down and write one—and we’ll see if they’re interested. Besides playing music, graphic design work is the most fun thing I do—and I maintain I am good at it and fast at it.

Biggest roadblock, I think, is that the newspaper uses Macs, and they want somebody familiar with Quark Xpress (which didn’t even exist back when I was designing ads on a Mac). Best I can suggest is that it’s not a big learning curve after PageMaker (another graphic arts guy told me that—I don’t know it first-hand). If I could get this job, I think I would cave in and let the Art Institute of Pittsburgh (one of the colleges that’s been stalking me) sign me up for their degree program. I would have finally escaped city-manager work. (Actually, I may have escaped it anyway, just by being unemployed for two years.)

Music Friday night at City Hall, at the Library and the Arts Center open mike Saturday—and Sunday at the Forestry Center. The Forestry Center was closed for months over the winter because of state budget cuts, but they’re open again, at least through the summer.

Joe