RECORDING (FINALLY)...

Recording at Jim’s Monday… He’s now got “base” tracks (rhythm guitar and vocal) for “In the Shadows, I’ll Be Watching You,” “The Dead Sweethearts Polka,” “Born Again Barbie,” “Pole Dancing for Jesus,” “50 Ways to Cure the Depression” and the Jedi Pigs of Oz theme song, “1-800-HANSOLO.” Managed to do all that in less than two hours. And we’ll do some more, probably in a couple of weeks. Got the second Dylan Show and my gig at the Relay for Life to get out of the way first. Those are this coming weekend. First four of the above songs are ones that’d go on the Joe Is Going to Hell CD so I think that’s where I’m going first. I tried to explain what I had in mind for Southern Pigfish, but I think it may be too complicated. I’ll write it all down and see if I can organize it better. Still to do for the Joe Is Going to Hell album: “The Abomination Two-Step” (fast bluegrass), “Bungee Jumpin’ Jesus” (deliberate Gospel), “Can I Have Your Car When the Rapture Comes?” (slow & sleazy), “Angel in Chains” (country death metal), “Song for Charity (and Faith, and Hope)” (fast bluegrass), “Dirty Deeds We Done to Sheep” (Johnny Cash-style rock ‘n’ roll), “When They Die, I Put Them in the Cookies” (fast bluegrass again). I’ve already got “The Resurrection Blues” (deliberate blues). That’s 12. What did I forget? The puppet show song is the only one where I was dictating an arrangement, and that’s because the puppet band when they perform on stage will have bass (played by Luke), lead guitar (Hansolo), harmonica (Yoda, complete with dark blues-player glasses), and drums (Chewy is the drummer and Darth, who has a bucket on his head, is the drum). And Princess Leah is supposed to sing lead, so it’d be really good if the vocal on the recording was done by a girl (Jim thinks he knows one who’d do it). In a pinch, though, we could switch instruments around—Leah could play bass, and Luke sing, say—and then we could use my vocal. Arrangements on the others I am as usual leaving entirely up to Jim. He’s the Sound Guy. I think my parts on the “Dead Sweethearts” and “Pole Dancing” songs were good, and on “In the Shadows” excellent. I could do lead on the latter—it’s a simple two-step, and I can do an acceptable lead on a simple two-step—but I’ll see what Jim comes up with. Hopefully, other members of his “Bob Dylan’s Big Band” will be interested in doing parts—they are all very good. (And they all know “Pole Dancing for Jesus.” It’s become kind of a cult classic.) The first Dylan Show (June 30) came off good. I think people are getting used to my hunger for feedback on performances, ‘cause a lot of them made a point of letting me know we sounded good. I think the one we did best was “The Leopard-skin Pillbox Hat,” a simple 12-bar blues that we did as classic rock ‘n’ roll (with Jane playing lead on the spoons); I don’t think anybody was expecting that. One nice thing about doing really obscure Dylan tunes (which we did deliberately) is nobody remembers what they’re supposed to sound like, so they’ve got nothing to compare you to. Elsewhere: Bob Dylan and His Big Band had to back out of performing at the Relay—his bass player and drummer won’t be in town—but I’ve got them for Garibaldi Days, and (I think) for the Rocktoberfest in October. Sedona Fire is in for Garibaldi Days, too, as is Eric Sappington. I want to reserve a slot for Deathgrass, and then we’ll have room for just one more. Five acts in six hours, playing an hour apiece. Much easier job for the booking agent (me). Rap is done for the Relay for Life; still need to finish the poster for the puppet show—and find time to practice; that one’s coming up soon, too (July 18). Coaster’s performance at the 2nd Street Market’s been postponed until August, which suits me just fine; July was getting way too busy. Joe

RELAY FOR LIFE SETLIST THOUGHTS...

TWO HOURS to fill for my solo performance at the Relay for Life July 8 (I’m scheduling me to play in the middle of the night). If I’m playing solo, that’s an average of four minutes per song, not five (or about 15 per hour). Doable? Of course. Two I need to do since they’re about people who died of cancer: Crosses by the Roadside—mod. slow two-step You’ll Make a Real Good Angel (Tarra Young)—almost Gospel And I have a bunch that come off good solo (i.e., without lead breaks). Not in order (yet): Eatin’ Cornflakes from a Hubcap Blues—slow & sleazy When I Jump Off the Cliff I’ll Think of You—fast bluegrass Hey, Little Chicken—slow & sleazy Doing Battle with the Lawn—fast bluegrass In the Shadows, I’ll Be Watching You—deliberate two-step I’m Giving Mom a Dead Dog for Christmas—slow & sleazy Free-Range Person—fast bluegrass Hank’s Song—deliberate two-step I May Write You from Jupiter—fast bluegrass One Gas Station—mod. fast folk Leavin’ It to Beaver—fast bluegrass Meet Me at the Stairs—fast bluegrass Writer’s Block Blues—slow & sleazy Twenty-Four Seven—fast waltz Welcome to Hebo Waltz—fast waltz Song for Charity (and Faith, and Hope)—fast bluegrass Take Me Back to the ‘Sixties—fast bluegrass Last Song of the Highwayman—medieval two-step Dead Fishes—very fast Elizabethan bluegrass Dead Things in the Shower—fast two-step Earwigs in the Eggplant—fast Irishy bluegrass 50 Ways to Cure the Depression—folk-rock The World Enquirer—fast bluegrass Oil in the Cornfield—mod. fast folk Twenty Saddles for My Chicken—fast bluegrass Milepost 43—deliberate two-step The Termite Song—fast bluegrass Un-Easy Street (Stan Good)—deliberate two-step Santa’s Fallen and He Can’t Get Up—fast bluegrass Young Donohue (Skip Johnson)—fast bluegrass Prehistoric Roadkill—fast bluegrass “One Gas Station,” “Beaver,” “Oil in the Cornfield” and (according to some) “Hebo” come across as too long if there’s a lead break—and a number of the songs on the list are over four minutes without a lead break, anyway, because I deliberately write most songs so they can be performed either solo or with a band. A few overtly political tunes in there, not too many dead animals, and some songs that are just plain fun with no message at all (like “Twenty Saddles for My Chicken”). Now, to organize the list, and do a Rap. I believe I am rigidly organized all this week and next with virtually no free time at all. Thursday night is a Relay for Life meeting (last one before the event), Friday practice with Coaster, Saturday the first (of two) Dylan shows, Sunday marimba practice, Monday recording at Jim’s shop—and then right after July 4 (which should be a zoo at the hotel) there’s the Coaster show at 2nd Street Market (for which I still need poster, setlist and Rap), the Relay for Life, and the second Dylan show in Nehalem, all within two days. Going to have to treat Life like one of those fast bluegrass songs and do strategic breathing. And—complete aside—I saw that a Shakespeare festival (I forget whether it’s the one in Ashland) is doing a parody of a Shakespeare play, called “The Merry Wives of Windsor, Iowa.” One of the things I should be working on in my spare time is the Shakespeare parody I’ve been threatening to write for a long time: “Two Gentlemen of Vernonia—The Musical.” Country music, of course. Joe

A REPUBLICAN CONVENTION...

Went to the Republican Party convention in Salem on Saturday (2-hour drive each way). It wasn’t a total waste of time, but it was close. The idea of people vying to get elected to fly to the other end of the country on their own nickel to “vote” the way they were directed to by the voters in the primary election last month is just weird. (The spectacle of supposedly conservative Republicans proclaiming support for the front-running Republican nominee as if he were conservative was weird, too.) The paranoia-driven efforts by pro-Romney Party leadership to prevent the meeting from being packed or otherwise taken over by Ron Paul supporters (which said Ron Paul supporters appeared to have no intention of doing) were a little ridiculous, and made everything take way longer than necessary. Nonetheless, I did my duty as a precinct committeeperson and cast my ballots for folks I thought (or hoped) were at least (1) not dumb and (2) not crazy. And I got to practice my singing square dance calls and my songs for the July 21 Gospel Show en route. (Which is why my time wasn’t entirely wasted.) I figure now that I’m no longer working as a city manager (and therefore no longer forced to keep my mouth shut politically), I can do more than just observe and complain. So I’ll influence things to the extent I can. (I noticed a lot of first-timers at the Salem meeting saying much the same thing, and I voted for them when I could—and when they appeared to be not dumb and not crazy. One way to change things is to change the people doing things.) Yes, one more thing for Joe-who-now-has-a-job-and-no-time to be involved in. It shouldn’t take much more time the rest of the year, though. No more trips to Salem. (I do not like to waste time.) Coaster’s performance at the 2nd Street Market has been moved (by the Market) from June 29 to one week later, July 6, 6-8 p.m. The good news is that gives us an additional week to practice. The bad news is the performance will be the night before the 24-hour Relay for Life. I should prepare for a whole weekend with minimal sleep. (Kinda like this one’s been.) I still need to do posters for the show, and this’ll give me time to do that. (I did figure out what’s wrong with the scanner unit on the old printer. What I don’t know is whether I can fix it.) I haven’t hooked up the new computer yet—I’d like to pull the RAM chips from the old Compaq in the garage and see if I can boost the new machine’s brainpower even further. Also upcoming: the puppet show troupe’s performance of Jedi Pigs of Oz. Need to practice—haven’t done that yet—and I also need to record the theme song. I’ll do it myself if I can’t get time at Jim’s shop. I might be able to record Coaster playing it (we’re scheduled to practice Friday night)—I need to remember to take the power adapter for the Japanese mixer (I forgot that last Friday) ‘cause it won’t run on normal American power. If I can get a fiddle lead, I can do a sight gag with puppet Yoda (who’s playing a harmonica, and can act surprised—and then upset—at the sounds he/she is getting out of it). I’ve plugged myself into the Relay for Life schedule, too—playing solo, because I wasn’t going to ask anybody else to play with me in the middle of the night. I actually do have a couple of songs appropriate for the event, “Crosses by the Roadside,” the kaddish I wrote for Carol Ackerman when husband Dick died (of cancer), and Tarra Young’s “You’ll Make a Real Good Angel” (her lyrics, my music), which she wrote for a friend who was dying—again, of cancer. For the rest of my two hours, I’ll just do “Joe stuff.” I have plenty of songs that work okay solo. And the Raps—for Relay, for the Gospel show, and for the Coaster show. In the latter, we’ve substituted a couple of the Dylan songs, “Don’t Think Twice” and “When the Ship Comes In,” for tunes on the setlist we didn’t do that well. Next week, too, I have got to find some places to play music. I have not been playing enough. My fingers get sore way too fast—and I have some lengthy performances coming up. Joe

ABOUT THAT FUTURE...

Thought-provoking question from Lorelei Loveridge at Performing Songwriters. What DOES the future of the music business look like, these days? And what is our place in it? One view (by an industry professional) suggests the “amateurization” of music production, thanks to cheap and available technology, has cheapened music to the point of valuelessness; no one will make money off music because it’s all free and anybody can do it. There was a science-fiction story about that—not specifically music, but all kinds of craftsmanship: excessive free time and technology would allow everybody to be a “hobbyist” at everything. If you wanted something, you’d just buy a kit and do it yourself. (And the only people making money would be the folks making the kits.) That’s a very possible (though not pleasant) scenario. As a congenitally hopeful person, I’d like to view it differently—and see opportunities, no matter how dim and small they are. The industry-professional outlook assumes the future will be like the present, only extended—and the future don’t work that way. Second, every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution—I think Isaac Asimov said that. There are always opportunities. Cheap and ubiquitous technology is not a problem. That stuff is cyclical. I got to be in on the last wave of it, back in the 1970s; the Dodson Drifters built a recording studio (any working band with a few thousand spare dollars could), and we produced ourselves and others—but we were famous, and our records got played on the radio, because we were good, not because we had the technology. True today. The technology is even better and cheaper—I have a studio myself, out in the garage, and it was cheap to do—but most of the stuff coming out of those ubiquitous home studios is worse than the stuff the big record companies put out. The problem (and remember, that’s an opportunity) is one of ACCESS. What Joni Mitchell called “the Star-Maker Machinery” is pretty well locked up by a few entities pursuing the old AT&T Vertical Integration Business Plan. It works—but only so long as nobody new is allowed in. (And as we’ve seen with AT&T, quality suffers after a while.) Said entities are on or headed for the financial skids, and will either have to co-opt new talent to survive—or not survive. Either way, I do not care. They’re ignorable, and I happily ignore them. What does one do instead? I’d go back to medieval times. Envision ourselves as troubadors: we travel around performing our own and other troubadors’ stuff, and we get paid for it. We get to sell “merch”—from T-shirts to CDs—and make a little extra money. (Madonna said this was going to happen, by the way.) We strive for bigger and bigger audiences. We can do this because there is a market out there for live performance that the big record companies aren’t supplying (and may not be able to). We use that cheap and ubiquitous technology to expand our audiences any way that works. Innovation is the key to success; remember, it’s not in the record companies’ vocabulary any more than it was in AT&T’s. (And keep in mind innovation has a lot of dead ends—just because something’s new doesn’t mean it’s going to work. We try everything we can; we watch carefully what other people are doing, and when we see something that works, we imitate it if we can. This is all stuff the medieval troubadors did.) And the material? I mostly ignore the Big Boys’ material—most of it isn’t very good any more anyway; there’s plenty of good independent music out there that’s way better, and people like it, and want to hear more of it. Wherewith, a War Story. A couple years ago, I performed at a retirement home for a lady’s 98th birthday (paid gig, by the way); she wanted to hear Cole Porter ‘cause she was a fan. I told ‘em, “I can’t play any Cole Porter—but I know some Skip Johnson tunes.” (I didn’t tell them that Skip was a contemporary of mine, and a friend to boot—and that I’d musicated some of Skip’s lyrics.) The Skip Johnson tunes I played were quite in keeping with Cole Porter’s style, and she (and her friends) loved it. What one cannot do is do nothing. That only perpetuates the present (and its problems). Like the old song says (not one of mine—sorry), “Why are you sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play…” Joe

PRACTICE, COMPUTER AND RANDOM THOUGHTS...

COASTER PRACTICE. Went well; our renditions of some of my songs—“The Abomination Two-Step,” “Cuddle in the Darkness,” “Hank’s Song,” “Pole Dancing for Jesus,” “Naked Space Hamsters in Love,” and “Spend the End of the World with Me”—are excellent. We are, I think, ready for prime time—and that’s good, because prime time is coming up. Gigs at 2nd Street Market in Tillamook June 29 (2 hours), the Dylan Shows at NCRD June 30 and July 7 (4 songs), Wheeler Summerfest July 21 (1½ hours). Last one is a paying gig. MORE THOUGHTS ON THE ALBUM. I could title the album Pole Dancing for Jesus, and it’d probably still be marketable. The last two albums have been titled after one of the songs, too. (And then I wouldn’t have to worry about how many songs were on the thing. I could easily end up with more than 13—and it’s possible to fit up to 16 songs on a CD.) I forget whether I’d listed “Dirty Deeds We Done to Sheep” on the album list, but it needs to be there. Bestiality is one of the things you go to Hell for, after all. ANOTHER INTERNET STATION. Clay’s Country (www.clayscountry.com), organized and run by fellow songwriter/musician Clay Pierce, is playing my stuff. Clay specifically requested “Bluebird on My Windshield,” so I sent that to him along with “The Resurrection Blues” and some of the Deathgrass cuts. ANOTHER SINGING CALL. I decided the parody, “Ghost Sturgeon in the Bay,” would work for a singing call; it’s got the right number of beats (32) in the verse. (And only three verses, too. Since singing calls do the music seven times—three for the singing, and four for the “figure” where you’re moving the dancers around—this is ideal.) The off-the-wall subject matter and obviously old-time country melody makes it a good fit for my square dance caller “persona,” too. Found music for it at Palomino, the square dancers record company, and bought it. (Since the song is a parody, there is commercial music available from the original tune.) Yes, it’s seven bucks, but that gives me two more singing calls. I’ll get two, maybe three practices with my guinea pigs before I have to go on stage again (there’s another square dance Aug. 11). NEW COMPUTER. Picked up from John Ramer at Backscratcherz. The original plan was for John to rebuild “Justin,” the gigantic desktop computer with busted processor I’d bought surplus from the Farmer’s Market, but “Justin” had too many things wrong and ended up getting new everything, including a different case. He (or she) is going to need a new name to go with the new-everything. The intent—I have not hooked stuff up yet—is for this machine to be the basic graphic-design/music/video production unit (John says he can keep supplying additional and bigger hard drives as I fill them up); 2000-vintage “StuartLittle” will go out to the studio as originally planned, and “Lazarus” the laptop will be packed away to be used for going out on the road. And I will have a “road job” for Lazarus coming up quickly. I was asked if I could record Coaster playing some of the songs, primarily for the band members’ reference, and I think I can. I should be able to run everybody through the 5-channel mixer (four instruments plus vocal) and output the mix simultaneously to two channels on the Tascam; I shouldn’t need an amp, but if I do, I can run the mix through the little PA and then to the Tascam. It’ll be a “live” recording—I won’t be able to adjust individual volumes later, so players will just have to play louder when they’re doing lead breaks, and such—but we have been practicing that stuff. Since the Tascam can only “do” one song at a time, I’ll need to load each one as it’s done to the laptop and clear the Tascam’s little digital-camera chip “brain” for the next song. That actually takes very little time. We can probably do this Friday night next. I’ll need to practice with the equipment ahead of time to make sure I can run everything properly. (And if by chance I end up with any “radio-ready” recordings, great—I’ll have more material for the album.) I’ll still have two computer hulks kicking around I have no idea what to do with: the HP laptop is a disembodied brain none of whose peripherals work (but if you hook up a remote monitor, keyboard, mouse, and wireless Internet transceiver, it’s fine), and the Compaq is a thoroughly functioning computer—it’s just very dumb and very slow. I could always run “free to good homes” notices, I guess. But who’d want this stuff? AND… I did apply for the city manager job in Soldotna, Alaska—on principle (sister and brother-in-law live there, and I really would like to live in Alaska), though I doubt I have any chance of even getting interviewed for the job. It’s an excuse to set up Skype on the new computer—something I’ve been threatening to do. Joe

THE MID-YEAR REVIEW...

Time again for that mid-year review of the Worklist. How the heck are we doing? ALBUM. I think it’ll be the “religious” songs this time. Tentative title: 13 Reasons Why Joe Is Going to Hell. One song recorded for it thus far—“The Resurrection Blues.” A couple more in the pipeline. I have a place to record (the music store) and sound engineer (Jim). Plan is still to release a song a month (once I find an outfit that won’t charge an arm and leg to do it), then compile them as an album. Figured out (just recently) how to record the Southern Pigfish album, too. GIGS. Being suddenly employed hasn’t affected gigging too much; as with the last job (in 2010), I’ve got Saturdays off. I’m playing with two bands, like last year. Portland gigs are probably out because of the work schedule, but I never made any money off those anyway. (I’d still like to play for the Willamette Writers again. That was on a Saturday.) VIDEO. I’ve come up with lots of ideas, but I haven’t done anything with them. PRODUCE SOMEBODY ELSE. Haven’t done that either. I helped (I think) two artists with advice when they were producing their first albums but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. INFRASTRUCTURE. I built the little PA system (for a total cost of ten bucks), and it works. Three channels, expandable to seven when I plug in the 5-channel mixer, and it fits (mostly) in a suitcase. Located my little Hong Kong video camera (finally), plus the new digital camera I got given last year can take video, too. “Justin” the big desktop computer is being rebuilt to do both music and graphic design, and will be able to burn DVDs. Got professional videography software—no more hokey Windows Movie Maker. Still haven’t done squat about the Joe Website. THE WORLD TOUR. Probably still a ways off. I keep flipping back and forth between having money and no time (because I have a job) and having time and no money (because I’m unemployed). I want to go to England, Ireland, France, The Netherlands and Sweden (because I know writers and musicians in all those places), Latvia (because of the blog subscribers), Mongolia (just because), and the Czech Republic (that last because my grandfather came from there back when it was part of the Austrian Empire). I said I was going to ignore MARKETING and BECOMING A HOUSEHOLD WORD, because the stuff I was doing wasn’t working, but it’s hard—marketing is my background, after all. I still obsess about it. I have had to LET THE FAN BASE GROW ON ITS OWN, because I don’t have time any more. I just don’t pass up opportunities, and I make sure that every performance, whatever I’m doing, is as perfect as it can be, even with limited preparation. WRITING. Only four songs in the last six months—“One Gas Station,” “Spend the End of the World with Me,” “The Resurrection Blues” and “Sleepover at My House” (and I don’t know if the last one’s a “keeper” yet, because I haven’t tried it out on a live audience). There’s the parody, of course, that I wrote for the marimba band, “Ghost Sturgeon in the Bay,” and the one-minute closing-credits song for the Jedi Pigs of Oz puppet show, but I don’t count those as “real” songs. In my middle-of-the-night shifts, when there’s no one around to hear me sing, I’ve been rehearsing for gigs and square dances rather than writing. (I’m also enjoying the job—and I worry about that. I know an absence of pain is bad for creativity.) I have done a few things that weren’t on the Worklist, that probably deserve mention as related. I wrote another play for the sock-puppet “troupe”—it’ll be their last because they’re “retiring”—and like the last three plays, it’s got one of my songs in it. I’m in a marimba band—and have written a song for them, too (the abovementioned parody). I’ve taken classes to become a square dance caller—and one of the songs I’m using in my routine is one I wrote. (I detect a common thread, there.) And I got recruited as the entertainment chairman for three concert events this summer, two of which happen next month. Why am I sleeping at all when I’ve got stuff to do? Joe

SQUARE DANCE CALLER TAKES THE STAGE (BRIEFLY)...

Did my first square dance calling with a real floor of dancers—we had five squares on the dance floor at City Hall tonight, most from out of town. It went okay, and a bunch of ‘em said they liked it (and some said they couldn’t believe this was my first time). Got compared to Willie Nelson (for which I thanked the complimenters profusely, but I’m no Willie Nelson—he can sing, and I can’t). The crowd got the two singing calls I have definitely mastered, “Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me” (the Hee-Haw theme) and “Valvoline” (which I wrote in 1980 and which became the Dodson Drifters’ first hit single). I’m not the first, or the only, square dance caller to use his own music in a square dance, but I am the only one I know who’s done it. I may have managed to pull off what instructor Daryl was telling us student callers we should do with our “guest tips” at dances. Be interesting, he said. Be memorable, he said. Make them want to come to a dance you’re going to be at. I think I did those things. We’ll be having another square dance at City Hall in mid-August. Hopefully, all those visitors will come back. (I also got to compare the dance flyers I’d done for our square dances with those from other clubs (there’s usually a table full of flyers at square dances). Mine are definitely more eye-catching. Haven’t lost my touch.) Next step—more material. I probably have the Merle Haggard tune “Gone, Gone, Gone” down but I really would like to try it out on my guinea pigs before doing it in public. And I’m not sure what else I should work on next. I have three singing calls on the laptop from the old 45-rpm records I got, plus two more that I’d bought online (for seven bucks apiece) from Palomino, the square dance record company. I would—as noted previously—like to record some square dance music of my own, but first things first. I have already set myself quite a bit of studio work to do, and I don’t have that much time any more. The foregoing ties into another “how to” article I ran across, this one advocating the idea of being different when you perform—whether it be in how you sing, what you sing, how you dress, and so forth—and claiming that was the key to success. I agree with the importance of being different; if you want people to remember you, you have to give them something to remember you by. Key to success? Not so much. It is not enough to be memorable—one has to get out and maximize the opportunities to be memorable. That’s something I don’t do near enough myself. Becoming a household word (like toilet paper, say) has been one of the items on the Worklist for the past two years. On the plus side, the square dance calling schtick gives me an opportunity to be memorable to a whole ‘nother spectrum of people—who of course will get to know (1) that I’m a musician, (2) that I write country music, (3) that I play in a band and (4) that I have an album out, because they’ll ask and I will tell them. Another rule there: Never stop selling. Saw “Doc” Wagner at the TAPA play Friday night, and he’s in for the Wheeler Summerfest, Garibaldi Days and Rocktoberfest gigs. Also saw Croix, who was the voice of Luke and Chewy in the last puppet show (he was being “backstage Ninja” for the TAPA play), and he’s in for the Jedi Pigs of Oz puppet show; just need to find time to practice now. Sent the Relay for Life chairman the bad news that the company that provided the sound system for free two years ago wants to charge this year (there’s been a lot of that going around). And I’ll get to practice marimba with the band (or most of them) for the first time in five weeks, right before I go to work for another five days straight. Joe